You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
