you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
