my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
