talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
