Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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