im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
