i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
