you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
