Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
