You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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