Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
