his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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