I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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