"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
