ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
