Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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