my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Mom said you looked used
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
