did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
