i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
