shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
