the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
