I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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