I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
