i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
