real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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