She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
