So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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