Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Help. Why am I so naked?
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