All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
