youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
