Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
