Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
