So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
