i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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