Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
