why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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