omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just had sex bonerless
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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