Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
