My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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