We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
