Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
