tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Randomize
