Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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