You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
