Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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