My first STD was from a foam party
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
