Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
