Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
