Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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