Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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