you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
