There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
